I'm babbling. Totally random subjects. Ignore me.
Mreh, it's getting really hard to talk with Jeff online... I just want to be with him right now. It's really hard... you're there and you're talking and you can see the other person, but you're not *there*. It's sooo much easier in person. If he's feeling down I don't know what to say to him. I've never known what to say, to anyone, actually. So I dunno. He knows I don't really like to see him mad at whatever it is, but leaving in that state isn't really good, either. I'll let him deal with it the way he wants to...
And helping him revise his essays. >_< I know what he needs to write, he knows what he needs to write, and he just doesn't know how. But I can't exactly write out stuff for him, so I usually end up just suggesting what he already knows when I try to help, and then I don't really feel like I'm helping at all. I guess it's a little frustating, since I don't know how to suggest how to write stuff, I guess. =( Ahhh, I suck.
But I really do love him. If we had broken up I would be... I dunno what kind of state I'd be in. Probably would've sworn off all men or something stupid and just be a little hermit, ha ha. Or a little old lady with the billion cats. HA HA HA. But Jeff is for me, yay. I'm really happy we're together.
That and Wayne. Can't delve too deep into that right now.. but I want him to know that I'm here for him when ever he needs some help or guidance. I can't answer questions, but I try to help.
I've always had this strange habit (it's probably a bad one) of kinda not really ripping, but taking out a couple layers of skin off of the that's right next to my thumbnail. It's gotten to the point (actually a long time ago) where there aren't really any nerve endings, I guess, so it doesn't hurt (if I accidentally go too far tho I'm like HELL OW hehee). It grows back tho, and instead of fleshy it's sorta stiffer? Meh, I dunno if that makes me masochistic... probably not, ha ha, no major blood flow or pain or anything. Just an annoying bad habit I can't break. Usually when I'm bored. Ha.
I used to be able to control my crying. Now it seems I can't. I'm not bipolar... because I don't snap at people... maybe depression? Who knows. But I'm happy where I am, with who I am, and maybe I'm just getting really homesick again because it's so closing to flying back. Only 19 days! Agh, I can't wait. But those 19 days are going to behectic hell. I have no fugging clue what I'm going to get in American Painting. Probably a C. Gah. Great way to start off the GPA.
Can you have a deja vu of a deja vu? Because if they exist, I just had one. O_o I'm so confused. Oh well.
Laaaaa, had dinner... lost all my other thoughts. Oh well.
Mreh, it's getting really hard to talk with Jeff online... I just want to be with him right now. It's really hard... you're there and you're talking and you can see the other person, but you're not *there*. It's sooo much easier in person. If he's feeling down I don't know what to say to him. I've never known what to say, to anyone, actually. So I dunno. He knows I don't really like to see him mad at whatever it is, but leaving in that state isn't really good, either. I'll let him deal with it the way he wants to...
And helping him revise his essays. >_< I know what he needs to write, he knows what he needs to write, and he just doesn't know how. But I can't exactly write out stuff for him, so I usually end up just suggesting what he already knows when I try to help, and then I don't really feel like I'm helping at all. I guess it's a little frustating, since I don't know how to suggest how to write stuff, I guess. =( Ahhh, I suck.
But I really do love him. If we had broken up I would be... I dunno what kind of state I'd be in. Probably would've sworn off all men or something stupid and just be a little hermit, ha ha. Or a little old lady with the billion cats. HA HA HA. But Jeff is for me, yay. I'm really happy we're together.
That and Wayne. Can't delve too deep into that right now.. but I want him to know that I'm here for him when ever he needs some help or guidance. I can't answer questions, but I try to help.
I've always had this strange habit (it's probably a bad one) of kinda not really ripping, but taking out a couple layers of skin off of the that's right next to my thumbnail. It's gotten to the point (actually a long time ago) where there aren't really any nerve endings, I guess, so it doesn't hurt (if I accidentally go too far tho I'm like HELL OW hehee). It grows back tho, and instead of fleshy it's sorta stiffer? Meh, I dunno if that makes me masochistic... probably not, ha ha, no major blood flow or pain or anything. Just an annoying bad habit I can't break. Usually when I'm bored. Ha.
I used to be able to control my crying. Now it seems I can't. I'm not bipolar... because I don't snap at people... maybe depression? Who knows. But I'm happy where I am, with who I am, and maybe I'm just getting really homesick again because it's so closing to flying back. Only 19 days! Agh, I can't wait. But those 19 days are going to be
Can you have a deja vu of a deja vu? Because if they exist, I just had one. O_o I'm so confused. Oh well.
Laaaaa, had dinner... lost all my other thoughts. Oh well.
